I’d Never Be Me, Without You.

You took away from me more than you thought.

You embedded in me horror I’ll never forget.

You pushed through me more than sex.

You told me things that made me grow old.

I hate you.

But I’d never be me without you.

And that’s a scary thought.

You brought a knife, so I brought Unafraid.

You brought your trauma so I became immune.

You brought your own abuser, so now I carry two.

You brought knowledge, so I will never be innocent.

You brought pain so I learned to be strong.

You brought lectures, so now I can’t stand when people talk.

You brought an end to my previous life.

I will never be the same.

You chose me, but really it was G-d.

You loved me, but really it was the pleasure I gave you.

You were quick, but really you were afraid.

You seemed smart, but really you were doing stupid things.

You were mean, but really you were sick.

You despised tears, but really it was emotions.

You hated life, but really it was your pain.

You looked down on everything, but really it was guilt for the mistakes you’d made.

You knew you were wrong, and I was able to sense that.

The closer you got, the farther I retreated.

You chose to continue the line of abuse, and I choose to stop it.

You chose to become small, but I’m choosing to grow tall.

You chose to hurt, and I continuously choose healing.

You chose violence, so now I always choose peace.

You chose to be a victim and I always choose to be a survivor.

You chose to manipulate a little one, and I choose to always be kind to them.

You chose to ignore your emotions but they overpowered you, so now I choose to feel and move on.

You tried to make an animal out of me and I’m proud to say I am far from that.

And because of you, I’m super strong.

Because of you, I am more sympathetic.

Because of you, I grew in ways most people don’t.

Because of you, I have matured far beyond my years.

Because of you, I’ve learned valuable life skills.

Because of you, I almost killed myself.

But because of me, I am constantly choosing to live.

I’m sorry you had a bad life.

I’m very sorry you hurt me.

But I want to thank you for the opportunities you’ve given me.